A Zigging, Zagging Pattern for YOU!

Since my last update, dear viewers, I have begun my very first lacework project! It's only a very simple pattern but I'm practicing hard so I can incorporate the stitch into my later works. I like the way it looks like a controlled, deliberate ladder.

In addition to this, I finally finished my pink and grey angora scarf, with wormies. It took forever because it was knitted on 4mm needles and is quite wide, but here it is!

Now, if you're thinking 'Oh, that scarf is hella fine and I sure do want a piece of that zig zag action myself' then YOU CAN! I'm going to give you the pattern, without my special secret wormies.
Ready yourselves with two contrasting wools of the same thickness, and the needles of the recommended size. For my demonstration, I used DK and 5mm needles.
My YELLOW wool is COLOUR A
My GREEN wool is COLOUR B
RIGHT SIDE (RS) means COLOUR A ON THE RIGHT
WRONG SIDE (WS) means COLOUR A ON THE LEFT
The whole is knitted in garter stitch.
Let's begin! Cast on your desired number of stitches-anything between 20 and 40 is a good scarf width-using COLOUR A.
1-Knit one row with colour A
*2-Knit one stitch with A and B together (see pic). Move long tail of B to front of work (this will mean it's on the correct side when you get back to it).

Continue knitting with colour A to end of row.
3-Knit with colour A until the stitch BEFORE the two-stranded stitch. Knit this stitch with both strands, as in pic.

Move long tail of colour A to front of work and knit last stitch with colour B.
4-Knit 2 sts colour B, 3rd stitch A and B, B to front, A to end
Continue so that on the RS you use both strands on the stitch before the previous bi-stranded stitch, and on the WS you use both strands on the stitch after the previous bi-stranded stitch.
Colour B will slowly take up all your stitches, making your work look akin to this:

Soon, you will find that colour B has moved all the way across your work and the last stitch has become the bi-stranded one. On the next row, simply knit the bi-strander with colour A, the next with both colours, move A to the front and knit B to end.

Then, on RS, knit both strands on the stitch after the previous bi-stranded stitch and on WS knit both strands on the stitch before the the previous bi-stranded stitch.*
Repeat from *-* until length desired and cast off using only one colour.
Looking good, my friend. Show me pictures, or leave a comment if my instructions make no sense. Thanks!

A Brief Mention of More Things I Hate

I never read or watch books, films or tv series in which the action is remotely possible in the real world. This includes things that were possible in the past (historical fiction) and 'true stories'. The only exceptions to this rule are: programmes about cute animals, Heston Blumenthal's cooking programmes (how possible is it really?) and knitting instructional books. I despise all reality TV and short-sighted escapism like Big Brother, The X-Factor, EastEnders and Hollyoaks. I just don't understand why anyone would spend their precious, limited time watching or reading about people doing things-such as audition for Simon Cowell, have 'romantical entanglements,' open the shop they always dreamed of owning or fight with their parents-when they could just turn off the TV or put down the pap and do it themselves!
The unlikely scenarios I most enjoy involve zombies, the future and sometimes vampires (not Twilight! Too mundane and tame!). I watched The Walking Dead on Sunday, have read all of the Anita Blake series thus far, am slowly making my way through the works of Arthur C. Clarke and watch often my Hellboy, Resident Evil, Rocky Horror Picture Show and Manga DVDs. I would be hesitant to claim that these things are necessarily 'good,' especially the literary car crash that is Anita Blake, but at least you can't deny that they're different to daily life, for anyone. If I think that a real life activity looks interesting-like working towards starting my own knitting business, or flirting with that cute boy on the train-I do it. There is absolutely no reason at all for any person not to do what they dream of doing (except murders and rapes etc. Don't wilfully misunderstand me). Cheryl Cole is not a popstar because she is inherently better than you, it's because she made the effort to become one. Your happy friend doesn't attend all these parties and have all these glittering friends because she is the only one who deserves them, it's because she works hard at getting out there and being loved. It is a skill to be loved, and it can be learned. You can learn it, if you just get out there and work at it.

This is Oogie and she knows you can do it.

Confirmed sighting of UFOs!

Oh my God, I'm such a knitting wit! UFOs are in fact unfinished objects, not anything actually interesting to other people. Still pretty funny though.
What I am trying to tell you is that this is a post documenting all the items I am currently in the process of making. There are, unbelievably, 10 of them. I am making 10 items (although a couple of them I haven't touched in weeks and will probably end up frogging (unravelling)).
Let's look at them and briefly comment!

This shows 1 1/2 little glovelets make on 5.5mm dpns with 'Fancy Love' yarn. This yarn is indeed pretty fancy but since I only bought 1 ball I was slightly limited as to what I could make with it. I'm thinking I'll further fancy this up with big buttons or sparkly flowers or something.

This is going to be a headband with sort of crocheted vines on it. I'll put at least one more vine on it, sew it up and sell it on. It was made on 2 3/4 needles! That is my thinnest needle yet.

You may recognise this scarf from earlier. It is much longer now, probably about 3/4 done. It is knitted on 4mm needles out of bastard angora wool. I say bastard because it snaps constantly, no matter how gentle I am with it, and the fluff gets EVERYWHERE especially up my nose, where it then tangles on my septum piercing, causing me to have to pull all the fluff back out with tweezers. The bastard wool was given to me on the condition that I knit something for the lady that gave it to me. Something...unusual. I feel I have achieved this, although by the time I finish it will be too warm for her to wear it.

Here is a mad scarf knitted from yet another single ball of bizarre wool. It's nearly finished, all I want to do is weave in the ends and put a different coloured tassle on each corner.

A little cape! I need to weave in ends, sew on a ribbon as a fastener and embroider a big skull on it. Show an interest and I'll give you the pattern.

This scarf is mostly an experiment in two needle cabling (do you want me to demonstrate in a later post?). I gradually lost interest since I hate the colours. Ew, pastels!

This is meant to be the beginning of a jumper. Thus far it is only the back section, which isn't finished. It was one of the first patterns I ever tried to follow, hence why I petered out so quickly. I really don't follow patterns well, at least 80% of my output is just made up as I go along. I very quickly realised that this jumper pattern is:
1-way too big
2-ugly
3-more complicated than it needs to be. Why knit a jumper in 4 sections when you can do it in one on circular needles? Not that I have, but I could if I wanted to.
My male housemate keeps demanding I finish it (not according to the pattern but 'Kitty-fied') but why bother when I can make a bat cape? I may just frog the whole thing and make something of my own design.

This is knitted in 2x2 rib, btw. It was going to be an IPad cover but I realised the dimensions were wrong and ran out of steam. I also can't remember which size needles I originally knitted it on as I have transferred it at least 3 times now. Probably should get frogged.

This is going to be a flower, when I roll it up and put leaves on it. Made from the remnants of lovely lovely baby wool that was mostly used to make myself a headband with.

Damn, that is one snazzy couch in the background. Cast on only today, this is a little snoody neckwarmer made in soft soft merino wool. I saw a pattern where some of the stitches were dropped as part of the design and decided to try the method out for myself. Not that I actually read the method, I just guessed at it.

Use the power of the comment to decide who gets finished first!

Fat Cat in a Hat (She does not care for that)

This weekend, I knitted this hat for my cats to share. Here is a picture of Skelly (aka Fatbum) deigning to wear it because I put it on her while she was asleep. She pulled it off 2 seconds after I took the photo.

It has little ties so you can keep it on the cat's head but I love her too much to tie it on that tight. Haha, I love her.
This weekend, my Grandma sent me slightly over 40 pairs of needles, ranging from 2 3/4 mm to 15mm (she only sent one 15mm though...) as well as some wool, which ranged from quite nice (black merino) through 'I can probably use this' (multicoloured DK) to utterly hideous, which I have repressed and refuse to talk about. She is a darling woman but doesn't really understand that just because I can knit with a certain wool doesn't mean I want to. I will probably sell some of it.
I started knitting another headband (white with multicoloured chainstitch vines) and made a little bag for my sister to put the pieces of her phone in-she dropped it in the toilet and had to open it up to let it dry. Now all her phone calls are dirty! Haha, I joke, she can't make phone calls on it.
Inkeeping with my veggie binge, I bought a fennel and some beetroot and will be making a warm salad tonight using lentils and yoghurt. My boyfriend is coming over, he will be eating a Pot Noodle. I'm about 3/4 finished with my Angora scarf and still waiting to get the drive to finish my stripey skull cape. I also designed a bat cape! The pattern is easy so I might just get someone else to knit it for me.
In other news, I hate the electricity company as, despite signing up to a fixed monthly fee of £80, they have decided to bill me an extra £120 for no discernable reason. I will be phoning them tomorrow for a shout.

Stuff, now with added Things!

If you don't already knit, you will definitely want to start after you visit Mochimochi Land. These toys can be made in about 2 hours, and amuse you for at least a week! I made a birdy for my Mum, look!

So cute! By the way, can I get a general show of hands as to who would be interested in knitting lessons over the summer?
In other news, here are some vegetables that are really delicious and that we should all eat more of. Especially me.
Fennel
Beetroot
Purple broccoli
Rhubarb (is that a fruit?)
Petit pois from tins
Baby new potatoes
Celeriac
Butternut squash

I am sick of carrots and onions, I'm going on a veggie binge. My boyfriend is probably going to starve to death as a result. Oh well.
Sometimes, I forget that you shouldn't tell your boyfriend EVERYTHING and tell him things like "I would sell one of my legs to watch Benedict Cumberbatch and Matt Smith kissing each other, topless but covered in mud" and he gets upset. But I can't help Benedict and Matt being so cute!